Saturday, December 08, 2007

But, who’ll forgive me??

This is story came about for the same reason as that of the last one. So, thanks again to PS!! :)
I knew this would change everything but as I stood there transfixed, I felt helpless. I could foresee how the future is going to be laid out now. But I had no option but to follow the general’s orders. I fired…...




I would never be forgiven for this. How can I be?? I’m firing on my fellow countrymen, that too when I know they are innocent. Am such a lowlife that I cannot even object to this inhumanity?? All I need to do is turn the gun at the general and he’ll be no more.

Fire at will…

Ah!! Now may be I can…. but what next? I’ll be tried, sentenced to death for treason. What would become of my family? But, what of that young boy I just shot down, hardly 21. I hope he wasn’t the only son or the sole bread-winner of his family. Oh god!! Why doesn’t my finger stop firing the gun? Am I not committing treason by firing on these people? May the Lord have mercy!! I can’t do this anymore…. What if I end this now?? What if turn the gun on me? Yes, that would mean one gun less firing on them. Why is has the firing stopped? Where are the people?? Is it all over??

It’s over…. I must seek penance for this act. But, who’ll forgive me??


This is a fictitious account of a soldier's conscience under General Dyer when the troop was ordered to open fire at Jallianwala Bagh, Amritsar on April 13, 1919, an incident condemned to this day.


divya said...

hmm this was even better than the earlier one sam.. :P but so much history ? :P and so much creativity :O kudos to u :)

Sam said...

hey thnx Divya!! i hope u r not praising me too much!! :)
but then I try to live part of my dream at all times... and that is to write.. the other ones i dunno... some I live, soem i still dream about.. but more of that soem other time!!

inihos said...

..."Strange, friend," I said, "Here is no cause to mourn."
"None," said the other, "Save the undone years,
The hopelessness. Whatever hope is yours,
Was my life also; I went hunting wild
After the wildest beauty in the world,
Which lies not calm in eyes, or braided hair,
But mocks the steady running of the hour,
And if it grieves, grieves richlier than here.
For by my glee might many men have laughed,
And of my weeping something has been left,
Which must die now. I mean the truth untold,
The pity of war, the pity war distilled.
Now men will go content with what we spoiled.
Or, discontent, boil bloody, and be spilled.
They will be swift with swiftness of the tigress,
None will break ranks, though nations trek from progress.
Courage was mine, and I had mystery;
Wisdom was mine, and I had mastery;
To miss the march of this retreating world
Into vain citadels that are not walled.
Then, when much blood had clogged their chariot-wheels
I would go up and wash them from sweet wells,
Even with truths that lie too deep for taint.
I would have poured my spirit without stint
But not through wounds; not on the cess of war.
Foreheads of men have bled where no wounds were.
I am the enemy you killed, my friend.
I knew you in this dark; for so you frowned
Yesterday through me as you jabbed and killed.
I parried; but my hands were loath and cold.
Let us sleep now . . ."
-Wilfred Owen
I have read this poem for years in school text books...your post reminded me of it once again.

(thanx for visiting my blog)

Ps said...

Sam--This was SUPERB.I loved it.I had visited Jallianwala bagh sometime back and had felt really moves, as i stood there staring at that slice of bitter history.
This was a lovely take on those lines.

Keshi said...

Conscience either sets u free or imprisons u for life.

Great post Sam!

Sam said...

@inihos: nice poem.. and thnx for coming arnd...

@ps: thnx for coming arnd.. and the appreciation!!! :)

@keshi: dats r8 girl!!! nice quote!!! :)

Bubbles of FireWhisky said...

Move him into the sun -
Gently its touch awoke him once,
At home, whispering of fields unsown.
Always it woke him, even in France,
Until this morning ans this snow.
If anything might rouse him now
The kind old sun will know.

Think how it wakes the seeds, -
Woke, once, the clays of a cold star.
Are limbs, so dear-achieved, are sides,
Full-nerved - still warm - too hard to stir?
Was it for this the clay grew tall?
- O what made fatous sunbeams toil
To break the earth's sleep at all?

Wilfred Owen's Futility...

p.s- wndr wt mad u write ds...

Vandita said...

dunno how u do it sam... no words except breathtaking!!
u write like ure painting...amazing

Sam said...

@mann: dats a lovely poem thanks!! now i have two wilfred owens yaay!!!
btw, if u've read the prev story.. well it all started from the same sentence... i aws thinking of the last samurai and then suddently was transported to a place much closer home.. something which made an impression on a 7 yr old's mind!!!
so, may be a childhood pain, hurt and anger boiled thru!! i dunno.. i just wrote as if someone was telling me the exact words to write!!!

@vands: thnx girl.. frankly, even i dunno how i do it.. adn yeah, there was a time i used to paint.. have a junior diploma to show for my efforts!! :)

^*^Clouds^*^ said...

I have this particular topic for my history syllabus..and believe me you just made it more interesting.The whole thingie about the Rowlatt Act being attacked by the Indians in a way that culminated to their own woe.

This was the student's pint of view.
From the perspective of a blogger,I'd say your post was introspective and interesting!


Prax said...

He really thought that?

cool quote.
At the bottom of,
Of all ya wrote!

Vandita said...

waah waah now thats news... how bout puttin up some of ur best works here?
wud love to see em...:)

Lena said...

great written..breathtaking. How do you manage this, i wonder always :)

Keshi said...

:) that just came into my head after reading ur post.


Sam said...

@clouds: thnx a lot!! u got ur boards coming up??

@prax: u r abs r8... those lines r really gr8...

Sam said...

@vands: umm... dats a bit tough as they r all back in cal.. and here i am in pune.. more over one's got to scan them and all... phew!!!

@lena: thnak u.... frankly.. u get the same reply as vands & mann.. i dunno.. i just manage them!! :) cheers!!

@keshi: lol... u r amazing!!! :)

^*^Clouds^*^ said...

Yes.I have my 12th boards from 29th feb,2008.

I'm damn scared.

Sameera said...

That was heartrending...

Every time I think of that tragedy,I wonder how those victims must have felt,running hither-skeeter for their lives.But not many would have ever wondered from the point of view of the attackers.Awesome!

Sam said...

@clouds: best of luck girl!!!

@sameera: It just came to my mind.. to be honest I was thinking about that lieutenant who was ordered to fire against Katshimoto in teh Last Samurai... and that's how I came across this idea... one thoughtled to another!!! :)

phoenix said...

well written!
not many are thoughtful enough to write on such incidents....

btw kamon acho?ki khobor?

Sam said...

@phoenix: thank u.... :)

bindaas.. tumi kemon? delhi trip kemon holo?

Aashi said...

iv said it before....and i say it again...great job dun.... :)

oh yeh n my main purpose for this commnt.:P

check the thinking youth blog and justaashi one too....bth have the same post.thot of doin sumthing abt tht.

mr uv gotta do tht too........ dnt forget it :)

acha and even dreamland.old poem reposted.take a luk :D

Pri said...

beautifully written...and felt so if u were really goin thru it...
u sure urs is not a case of reincarnation?? :p

Sam said...

@aashi: alright girlie.. will do dat!!!

@pri: no am not reincarnated!!! thank u very much.... :|
btw, thnx for ur appreciation!! :)

shooting star said...

real nice!!!................