Ijazaat (Permission)

The story is incomplete. But then it is still at a spot where I can tell you about it. Happy reading. Now, I would like an honest opinion on this one. Part of it has been produced here before, but then I thought of having it all at one spot.

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Agar tum ijazaat do to,
Phir tumhare sapno se tarashu,
Koi naya Taj Mahal;
Sile hotho se tumhare ,
Chura lu koi nayi gazal;
Nashile un nigaho se,
Chalka du phir madhoshi ka vo jaam;
Agar tum keh do to,
Phir se likhu pyaar ka,
Koi naya paigam;
Chand ko mei phir se bulao,
Aur savaru tumhe.
Agar tum hidayat do to,
Mei tumhe phirse vahi,
Geet sunau;
Mei phirse tumhe apna,
Pyaar jatau.
Agar tum ijazaat do to.



Hi there,
I wonder what made you read this far. Probably u found the text at the start of this page quite intriguing. Well I really can’t say much about that coz I wrote that myself. But then this page and whatever is going to be written in the next few pages is going to be written by me. The setting of my story is a beautiful evening in the “City of Joy”. For the uninitiated I’m talking about Kolkata, erstwhile Calcutta. Our story revolves around two people who despite having once shared a deep love for each other have in the course of years forgotten how it really was to feel for, and pine for each others love. It reflects what a fast paced life, engrossed in a career can do to your relationships. It’s a story about us, the new age individuals who have forgotten the meaning of being human. Well enough said about the story. I can see u r getting impatient over there. Let’s read and find out how much do we identify ourselves with them? Where does that one evening take them? Is that evening going to come in our lives too? Read on…..

I

My story takes place on hot summer evening. It was a holiday or a Sunday. I really can’t remember that. U know it was so long ago. Oh! By the way let me introduce myself. I’m Aditya Roy, 35, presently working in an MNC. Or should I say was. Because you see I gave in my resignation a week back and they haven’t got back to me to yet. So really, I don’t know my status – employed or unemployed. The only thing that I can say is that right now I am nestled in a cottage in the Himalayas, far away from the rush of a city and just close enough to civilization to satisfy my basic needs. In fact, if right now you are wondering as to what my present has to do with that fateful summer evening, the truth is - everything. You see it was on that evening that a major chapter of life finished. A part of me died. Though I never realized it until it was too late.

My wife’s name was Sulakshana. A pretty name and very Bengali. But then, I knew her since my college days. I was a student of English (Hons.) in a Calcutta college. She was a year junior to me, in the department of History. We met during the rehearsals of a college play for some inter-college fest. It was in the year 1997. We hit off immediately. Life was then full of vision, full of eagerness. And it all seemed possible because one of the most perfect ladies ever created by the God Almighty was with me. Our relation blossomed and finally we married, when I was 26. Life seemed to be very pleased with me then. I started getting plum projects for my firm. I performed beyond expectations; my success egged me on towards new challenges. I excelled. It was all too good last. I had everything in life that a man could want. I had a successful career, a wonderful social status, a beautiful and loving wife. Things were perfect or so it seemed to me then.

II

By this time 4 blissful years of marriage had already passed by. On that fateful evening I was reading a newspaper as was my habit. Then came a phone call for my wife. It was from someone I didn’t know. Maybe someone from the college days. I dismissed the matter from my mind. A few minutes later she announced that she had to go out. I agreed and was about to get ready to drop her off, when she told me that she would like to go on her own. I was surprised. This was a definite deviation from her predictable behavior. Usually when I was home I used to chauffeur her around, which I must say wasn’t very often. It was quite obvious that whatever the reason it must be due that call. “The Call”. She left in her car. Unable to bear the tension I decided to tail her. That was the first mistake I should have trusted her. I didn’t!! I still don’t know why? But I didn’t.

And so as she sped down the wide roads of Kolkata in her car, I tailed her. I wanted to see, wanted to know. The curiosity was killing me. What was it that was keeping her so secretive?? I wished I could peek into her mind and know what she was upto. The tailing took me to one of the most posh area of the city – Park Street. Just when I was about to start wondering where she was actually headed for, she stopped. I stayed low in my car. Couldn’t afford to have her see me. She went into one of the many restaurants that lined up in that stretch. Whom was she meeting?? I really wanted to know. All that I read about extra-marital affairs came flooding back to my mind. This was too tormenting. But my instincts warned me of such a move. The restaurant I knew well. I can’t possibly remain under cover for long there. What do I do??

About 20 min later, she walks out looking busy as hell, gets into her car, revs it up and speeds away. I had trouble keeping up with her. Where now?? I relaxed a little when I realized that she was heading home, before panic struck home. I was supposed to be at home. It was my turn to speed. I decided to take a different route. I sped……….

Finally, she came home. I was already back at my place. She comes in gives me a peck on the cheek and proceeds to her bedroom. I decided to ask her about her whereabouts.

“Hey honey, where did rush off to?? Is everything alright?”

She comes out of the bedroom, draped in a robe and looking prettier than ever.

“Yes dear. I just had something important to tend to.”

“What??” I was way too intrigued!!

“Nothing sweetie. Nothing that you should worry about!!” And she goes off for a bath.

I guess it was that secretive attitude that I saw which triggered a wave of mistrust in me towards her. I spent the entire night contemplating reasons for such behavior of hers. Married for 4 years, known each other since college days and yet this day had to arrive when I would chuck all my feelings aside for and wondering whether she is having an affair or not. I decided to put this doubt of mine to rest once and for all. This calls for some sleuthing. I called for professional help.

III

The sleuth was one of the more efficient ones in town. He took the job up as if it was a regular routine. I wanted this matter sorted out within a space of 2 weeks, before our 5th anniversary. I didn’t want to dance her arms then with heart full of doubts about her. The young man appointed tailed her, tracked her had each and every detail of her movements. He made a detailed report of her activities and gave me a report. The highlighted facts were very disturbing to say the least.

Sulakshana would meet this guy just about every other day at the same restaurant. The fellow happened to be the manager at there. What they used to talk about was a subject of guesswork, but the maximum their meeting had lasted was 30 min. And that was the day before I was given the report. Next day would be my marriage anniversary. Everything that I had planned for seemed to be going to the dogs. All that I could see was my wife with some other guy. That night I went to sleep with a heavy heart.

IV

The next day, as can be expected, I turned up early from office. I knew she would want that. As I walked through the door, I heard her speaking over the phone.

“Have you made sure everything is alright?? You know how I would hate a goof up.”

Some reply from the other side…………
“I know dear, but there should be no slip up.”………
“I get that. He doesn’t need to know now. And anyways, my husband is a sweetheart he’ll never suspect”……………..

She laughs and hangs up the phone. And there I stood rooted to the very spot. I couldn’t believe my ears. It seems that my wife was having an affair!! I couldn’t believe it. This can’t be happening to me.

Finding me at the doorstep she was taken aback. Caught at a wrong moment she didn’t know how to react. She smiled then laughed and then put on her trademark smile (it always drove me wild), came forward and asked in a musical voice,

“So now you know everything??”

I couldn’t believe my ears or my eyes. Caught cheating on me, this woman as looking me into the eye and asking about it as if it were a joke???? Is this the faithful woman I had loved and married??? I had to play by the rules already set then.

“Yes dear, you never could really keep things hidden from me. I did have a hunch. It seems I was right.”

“You did?? But, how could you? I took so much care so as not let you know about this.”, she was very surprised. That gave me a sadistic pleasure.

“Well honey, it’s my life and you really can’t keep me in the dark about this for long. Sooner or later I had to know.”

“I know dear, but I wanted to break the news to you myself.”

“Really??? It would have been great right? What a sight!! Wife breaks news of adultery to her husband. Husband too shocked to react. Wonderful headlines!!”

“Adultery?? What are you talking about??”

“Exactly what you’ve heard. You have been going around with someone for the past few weeks, haven’t you??”

“What are you talking about??”, she had one of the most astonished and shocked expressions on her face. The innocent look of hers drove me wild. I wanted to hurt her like anything then.

And so I started giving her an account of all that she has been doing for the past two weeks. Each and every breathing moment had a record. The pictures were there too. All this while, she simply had a shocked and pained look on her face. I couldn’t believe that. I wanted explanations. I had too many questions.

“Who is he?” “Manav.”
“Is that all??” “Manav was one my class mates. He is now a manager at that restaurant.”
“So how long have you been seeing him?”
“I’m not seeing him. He’s my friend and he was helping me organize a party for today evening at his restaurant. It’s our fifth anniversary and there was an important announcement that I wanted to make.”
“What announcement??”
“I don’t think it matters anymore.”
“It does, tell me……”
“I’m pregnant. You are going to be Dad.”

That knocked a little wind out of me.

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