Friday, May 16, 2008

A life to be called one's own??

Dear Diary,

I've been going through all the entries over here and really makes me wonder that despite our different nature we all are so very similar to our core. At each and every step in the past two and a half decade a little bit of our innocence has been taken away, a price to be paid for growing up... oh should you wonder, let me enlighten you do not have an option unless fate has decided to slam you cruelly.

But then at times the mind wanders into the domain and really feels that the ones who never really grew up, mentally retarded, the special ones..... as someone said long ago, God's own, are perhaps the happiest. They do not go through the feelings of helplessness, betrayal, dashed hopes, pain, sorrow..... or may be they do but then just how much of a shadow can a sliver of cloud cast on a sunny morning.

I digress.... or did I?? Rambling along as I was I guess i can never digress. In fact, may be this is the path I was supposed to take. Struggling, pushing, shoving my way through to reach my goal. I haven't the faintest bit of idea what my ultimate goal is. It's just that, I'm never satisfied with what I'm doing. In that case, what is it that I'm meant to do?? I don't think I have the faintest clue.

Honestly, what is it that I seek??
What is it that everyone who has scribbled in your heart seek??
A corner to call ones own??
A moment to cherish for the self??
The satisfaction of a job well done??
Someone to hold on to at the end of a tiring day??
A moment to scream out and vent all the frustration that is pent up inside the heart, mind, body and soul??
A life to be called one's own??
What is it??
I think I'll put the pen to rest now.... I need to sleep... my eyes are hurting!!!

Adios
Confused Sam!!

34 comments:

Phoenix said...

I know just one thing...If you really want it, you already have it.

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

I wish i could answer this for you but it is something that only you ad figure out for yourself.

Good post!

Tomz said...

don wry confused Sam..dese thoughts are pecculiar fr dis age..

http://littlelyrics.blogspot.com/

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

hmmm... well i have these moments... i havent found an answer yet. when i do, you are on my phonebook to call and irritate...

Vandita said...

i do wonder a lot of times... get no answers, end up either talkin to bonnie abt it or listenin to music and sleepin

solo said...

we all suffer frm this..
and its sad, that answers r sumthin tht we hardly ever get.. u jus gotta dream, n follow it.. thts the best answer i cn giv to myself..n it sure does wrk!

Macadamia The Nut said...

Sometimes.. I feel the same way. But then I wake up and remember that i've promised myself that whatever I do, I will do what makes me content.

Sam said...

@phoenix:

may be... again.. it may not be true!!

Sam said...

@raaji:

and it's taking a hell lot of time!!

Sam said...

@tomz:

true.. quite a plausible explanation... is it teh complete one???

Sam said...

@bubbles:

not a problem.. not at all!! would love to hear your two cents on this!!

Sam said...

@vands:

hmmm.......

Sam said...

@solo:

dream and follow.. and then we compromise don't we???

Sam said...

@mac:

good!! but then isn't it hard and at times next to impossible to stick to that??

Keshi said...

omg we think alike Sam! U wrote it beautifully...so spot on! We r all looking for someone/something to cling to...we r totally dependent.


Keshi.

Sam said...

@keshi:

do you know your post nearly freaked me out???
i mean, we both have been writing about teh same thing thestyles differnt but the end content is the same!!
and wots more, just wen i'm through reading ur post, i see this pop up telling me u too haev been visiting :)
freaky chakra i tell ya!! :)

Keshi said...

haha yes! HUGZ Sam! Hows u? All ok?


Keshi.

Sam said...

yeah.. am doing fine.. just got too many things on my mind.. and thats starting to bog me down!! will be up in a few months time!! :)

ceedy said...

honestly it better to be confused and find your way thru than be complacent and accept everything...

first time here....and I hope I did not confuse you furthur

Vartika said...

“A corner to call ones own??
A moment to cherish for the self??
The satisfaction of a job well done??”
This and all that you’ve mentioned, in intermittent series, recurring events, juggling occurrences…that’s the circle of life we all go through…

Sam said...

@ceedy:

ah!! i cudn't agree with u more i guess!!
and no u didn't confuse me...
ggo to see u here!!!

Sam said...

@vartika:

and that's the circle one ought to break out of!! the question is how without hurting the oens we care for!!

Macadamia The Nut said...

Definitely 500% hard. But thats me, I need that challenge to push myself to new limits
;)

Ashu said...

wer u lost dada >

shooting star said...

hi sam !! long time!!!
i also have such thoughts at times......well..then i think..does ti really matter...let's just enjoy myself!!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

I think I am as confused as you and so is everybody else. I think the day we find what we seek and we seek no more we cease to live..

Just a thought

Pri said...

this one sure keeps me wondering...

rantravereflect said...

confusion happens, i think tats wat keeps us on our feet...

but, 23 years of confusion- this year's been different- i've stopped thinking, i jus do wat i wanna do- a lotta new things, n now, it's no longer rebellion, it's become a quest, n i'm findin answers!!!

i dunno if this will help people, but it's helped me..
23 years of my lie, i lived without doin much really.. n one fine day, three months back, i decided to go dance.. n well, i spend an hour daily, have a show tomorrow, n trust me, it doesn't matter if ya're good, bad or ugly-cos ya're jus enjoyin it, n releasing teh negative energy!!

well, everyone has a similar calling, something they've always wanted to do,.. at a point, ya jus go ahead, stop thinking, just dooo i, n then, life seems seamless!!
just my thoughts sammmy!!

now if tat was a truckload of crap,jus shove it in ya backyard!:)

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phoenix said...

you are amazing..i mean really...managing work and yet keeping your passion alive...takes effort..dont worry thinks will get resolved....not many think about the issues that stare at our face...but you have and thats taking a step towards setting things right... :)

take care

solo said...

u wer supposed to be confused!!!!

Sam said...

@macadamia:

good for you.. nto many can do that!!

@ashu:

itthe hu!!! thoda kaam tha to had no time to come around!!

@shooting star:

hey!! how r u?? i thgt u had disappeared completely after the new phase in life ;)

Sam said...

@beauty/beast:

ah!! now dats a thought.... hmmm.. makes me think!!

@pri:
and are you still wondering??

@rantravereflect:

well.. you've found your way out.. hoenstly.. everyone does need that.. and this ain't gonna be shoved into teh abckyard.. rather... planted into teh front garden!!! :)

Sam said...

@ashu:
uh well... lemme see.. gotta few.. will let u know!!

@phoenix:
can't help thinking about things coz my entire life depends a lot on how the next 2-3 years turn out!! sheeesh!!!

@solo:

and what was that supposed to mean????